There’s a lot of talk about “face” in Thailand, but what is this thing they call a face? Let’s take a look at this strange quirk of Thai culture, let’s “face up to face.”
Maintaining face, gaining face, and “saving face” is a bit of an enigma, an unseen but ever-present reality of social life in Thailand. Some say that “face,” especially the fear of losing face has held back Thailand’s progress as a nation because politicians are often unwilling to reverse decisions and change laws for fear of losing face.
Many foreigners blame “face” for a multitude of problems when dealing with Thai people. Understanding “face” and how face works in Thailand can help you to more easily deal and negotiate with Thai people. Taking a little time to study the concept of face in Thailand you may avoid losing face yourself.
What is face?
The best way to describe face as it applies to Thailand is to liken it to what we in the West would call reputation, prestige, honor, and social standing. Face is all about being polite, considerate, inoffensive, and unobtrusive.
There is a saying here in Thailand, more than a saying, “kreng Jai.” Being kreng jai is to be polite and respectful and avoid loss of face for oneself or another person.
Where does Face originate from?
The earliest records of the concept of face in the English language date back to the late eighteen hundreds when terms such as “lose face” and ”saving face” were used by Western newspapers and authors to describe potentially embarrassing situations faced by the people and government of China.
Many philosophers have studied the meaning of face and wrote detailed theories covering its many complex guises as it pertains to China and countries influenced by Chinese culture.
Examples of Face in Thailand
The scenarios I have described below are theoretical but plausible examples of “Face” in Thailand.
After being dumped by her farang (foreign) boyfriend, to save face, Suree, the Thai girl, tells her friends that she left him. In the case that he left her for another woman she may well say that she caught him cheating and told him to sling his hook. Her word will not be questioned even if her friends suspect she is lying. The bottom line is they know she is trying to save face, and they are more than willing to help her.
Somchai, fresh out of school, has just started his first job at Pattaya Unlimited, a website about Pattaya. Somchai is struggling with a template editing program. Seeing that Somchai is struggling, a co-worker can see what Somchai is doing wrong, but he is reluctant to tell him in case Somchai loses face. Instead, he informs Somchai there may be a problem with the software, but he knows how to fix it. Whilst pretending to fix the problem and then checking that it is functioning correctly he is showing Somchai how to operate the software. The end result is Somchai has been corrected without even knowing it and nobody had to lose face.
A car dealer promised a customer that his car would be ready for collection at 2 PM on Friday afternoon. Actually, the car was not there as there had been a delay and the dealer was only hoping that it would be there on time. When the customer called to enquire if the car would be ready as promised, the dealer told a white lie and said the car would be ready. The dealer told this white lie rather than risk losing face because he was not true to his original promise; if he told the customer to arrive later because there may be a delay, he had already lost face. If he is lucky, the car will arrive on time; if the car arrives late and the customer is left waiting, he has lost face anyway, but at least he has tried to avoid it.
You’ve probably noticed by now that Thais are very fond of status symbols; gold is not simply worn as a fashion accessory; many Thai people wear their gold day in and day out; the bigger and more expensive, the better. Expensive gold necklaces and large luxury cars are a classic “show of face.”
Keep your cool in Thailand.
The easiest way to lose face in Thailand is to lose your cool. Getting angry, shouting, and being rude is a big no-no. Politeness (kreng jai) is one of the better qualities shown by Thais while maintaining face. You rarely see Thai people having heated arguments; it would one or both of them will lose face.
Keeping your cool is of the utmost importance for anyone visiting Thailand; if you lose your temper, you will definitely not make any progress with your complaints or grievances; you will be surprised just how unhelpful a Thai can be when faced with an irate farang (foreigner).
FACE IS NOT UNIQUE TO THAILAND.
You are probably thinking that the examples of “face in Thailand” are scenarios that could happen to anyone anywhere, and you are dead right: face is not just a Thai thing; it’s not just an Asian thing. Everybody, no matter where they are, has a sense of worth, a reputation, and pride, which, when tarnished, dented, or challenged, can lead to embarrassment or shame.
Westerners place much less emphasis on face Than Thais do; westerners are less likely to be polite about poor service or rude behavior, and saving face is not considered when making a complaint.
Summary of “face” in Thailand
There is no mystery surrounding the Thai concept of “face,” the most prominent aspect of face in Thailand is probably “self-image” and upholding the image in the eyes of others. You might also call it “keeping up appearances.” The word ‘face’ covers a broad spectrum but includes image, reputation, respect, dignity, and humility, all of which are common social and emotional states experienced by everybody the world over. Some or all of the elements of face, even if not appearing outwardly are traits which many Thai people display in their character, usually, the virtues and problems of face are more stubbornly upheld, more deeply felt and respected in Thailand than they are in western countries.
DEALING WITH FACE IN THAILAND.
Tourists or occasional visitors to Thailand need not worry too much about “face”; just keep in mind it is there, be polite, don’t raise your voice or get angry, and be tactful if you have a complaint to make.
Within mixed marriages (Thai wife and Western husband), face is often a problem. The “Kreng Jai” attitude of Thais and the often more brash and “to the point attitude” of Westerners often cause clashes. The more brash and sometimes short tempered habits of westerners are often offensive to Thais, by the same token, westerners are easily frustrated by the Thai need need to save face which often means being sparing with the truth and adopting a “mai pehn rai” (never mind) attitude towards minor problems.
Remember, when in Thailand be “kreng jai”, lose your head and you will lose your face, don’t lower your standards but alter your attitude, respect others and they will respect you.