Been in Thailand too Long Timeline

Without knowing it, after a long period of time spent in Thailand you reach certain landmarks, achieve goals and for better or worse you pick up habits which in some peoples opinions make you appear to be an old Thailand hand. They may also think that you have been in Thailand too long, or they may be in awe of your local knowledge of Thailand and all things Thai, they may also be inclined to think that you have lost the plot and that Thailand has had an adverse effect on your mental wellbeing.

Listed below are some of the habits, symptoms and landmarks of the folk who have stayed or lived in Thailand for a significant period of time. You might say they are signs that you have been in Thailand too long. Have you been in Thailand too long ?, how many habits have you picked up, what landmarks have you reached, how much has Thai culture influenced you during your time in Thailand ?.

One year in Thailand.

1. After on year in Thailand your best shoes, maybe even the only footwear you own are Flip flops or Sandals.
2. You learn to ride a motorbike.
3. Get a motorcycle license.
4. You”re not surprised at the sight of 6 people riding on a motorbike.
5. You are one of the 6 people on a motorbike.
6. Not to be outdone, you try to fit yourself and 6 passengers on a motorbike.
7. You no longer wear a long sleeved shirt but you keep one in the wardrobe just in case.
8. Have your first serious attempt at learning the Thai language.
9. You’ve eaten a grasshopper and one or two other bugs.
10. Sampled Ya Dong on a night out with friends.
11. Vomited Ya Dong a record distance of 10 meters.
12. Been Elephant trekking through the jungle.
13. Had a ride in a Longtail boat.

After two years in Thailand you.

1. Can write your name in Thai.
2. Have worn a Sarong, but you won’t admit to it unless you are brave, a woman or David Beckham.
3. Grab a knife or a pair of scissors before attempting to remove the packaging off anything.
4. Actually ASK for ice in your beer.
5. Use the squirt hose at the side of the toilet in preference to toilet paper.
6. You know how to stop mosquito bites from itching.
7. Try to avoid being out in the sunshine.
8. Start drinking Sangsom in the bar.
9. Finish drinking your Sangsom the next time you go to the bar.
10. You never check the weather forecast.
11. Make your second serious attempt at learning Thai.
12. You get a Thai driving license.
13. Use your hazard lights to let other drivers know you are going straight on at a junction.
14. Been to a Full Moon Party.
15. Had an encounter with a snake.
16. Done most of the things you will never do again.

After three years in Thailand you.

1. Stop using your hazard lights to let other drivers know you are going straight on at a junction, you also realize that it is one of the stupidest Thai ways on Thailand’s highways.
2. Keep a small amount of Thai Baht tucked behind your driving license.
3. Have a Buddhist tattoo.
4. Smoke L&M; or Falling Rain cigarettes.
5. Fallen off your motorbike more than twice.
6. Lose contact with most of your friends back home.

After five years in Thailand you.

1. Know how to tell the time in Thailand.
2. Are either very fluent at speaking Thai, or you gave up learning Thai.
3. Promise you will make a serious effort to learn Thai again, some day.
4. Realize most of the Thai words you have remembered are Thai swear words.
5. You are comfortable using a Thai ‘squat toilet’.
6. You know all the motorway service stations and public toilets which have western style toilets.
7. Know the price of rice, pork and chicken.
8. Adopt a Mai Pen Rai “never mind” or “it doesn’t matter” attitude to minor traffic accidents which are not your fault.
9. you go to the same bar every night and talk about folk back home, who sit in the same bar, on the same stool telling the same jokes and stories every night.
10. You know that a “Bangkok Haircut” isn’t a haircut in Bangkok.

You’ve turned Thai when.

1. You eat betel nuts.
2. You can sing fluently in Thai.