Been in Pattaya Too Long

I’m not saying it’s time to leave Pattaya but here are a few signs, symptoms, traits and habits of people who have stayed in Pattaya a long time, and in some cases definitely too long. I tried to keep this list specific to Pattaya rather than cover the broader spectrum of habits and eccentricities of people who’ve stayed in Thailand too long.

  • You get a motorcycle license because you’re sick of paying fines to Pattaya’s finest.
  • You are able to politely inform people that they jumped the queue and so reclaim your place.
  • More than one girl has your name tattooed on her body.
  • Leave the country or lock yourself indoors for Pattaya’s somewhat extended Songkran festival.
  • You can spot a Kathoey “Ladyboy” from a hundred paces.
  • You know more “guys who have been ripped off by their wife” than you know “happily married guys” .
  • Know the difference between Dahkling and Darling.
  • Realize that “Ham San Man” is not a mispronunciation of “Handsome Man”.
  • You’ve seen the Pattaya Glitter-Man more than once.
  • You are Glitter-man.
  • If you’ve been here a long time you will know I’m not talking about Gary Glitter.
  • You know what a balloon chaser is.
  • You are a balloon chaser.
  • Don’t buy Lady drinks.
  • You think there’s nothing unusual about a man walking round the supermarket with a parrot on his arm.
  • You are the man walking round the supermarket with a parrot on your arm.
  • You consider having Russian language lessons.
  • You’ve Been mugged in Pattaya, or you know of at least 2 people who have.
  • Haven’t Been to a Pattaya Go go bar for more than 12 months.
  • You have your first tattoo after your 40th birthday.
  • You’re on first name terms with the staff at the Pattaya Immigration office.
  • Going home broke after pouring everything you have in to a Pattaya business venture which failed.
  • You just leaped off the tenth floor balcony.
  • Leaped off the tenth floor balcony with a gag in your mouth, plastic bag over your head, hands tied behind your back and a knife stuck in your back.
  • Believe that people really can tie their hands behind their back before suffocating themselves with a plastic bag.

Have You been in Pattaya Too Long

Tell us about the little habits and eccentricities you’ve developed resulting from spending a long time in Pattaya. Even better, tell us about other peoples strange habits, stick them in the comments section below.